Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World

Chapter 3 explores loneliness and social connection in different cultures. It begins with an anecdote about a DC-area Uber driver originally from Ethiopia who found community away from his family, amid other Ethiopian immigrants. Murthy points out that different cultures value social connection differently and that loneliness occurs when experiences fail to meet expectations. For example, solitude is socially acceptable in Sweden, but less so in Italy and Greece. Thus, socially isolated Italians and Greeks tend to feel lonelier than socially isolated Swedes.

Researchers divide societies into three types: 1) individualistic; 2) collectivist; and 3) transitional. Elderly members of transitional societies, such as Israel and Japan, are at risk for loneliness because they are accustomed to strong social networks. By contrast, in individualistic societies like Norway, the elderly are used to being alone and experience less loneliness. Although Murthy praises social connectedness, he cautions readers not to idealize collective cultures. For example, Hutterite communities have strong social networks, but they also stress conformity and compel nonconformists to leave. Traditional cultures in South Asia, North Africa, and the Middle East similarly stress conformity. In such cultures, nonconformity with regard to skin color, ethnicity, and sexual orientation can foster feuds, group violence, and murder.