The Tender Bar

In Chapter 8, Moehringer reflects on his deep bond with his only male cousin, McGraw. McGraw, who also had an abusive and absent father, was Moehringer’s “best friend and ally” in the household (49), and the author often referred to him as his brother. They shared a bed in the corner of their grandfather’s room. Moehringer recounts his “neurotic” fear that he and McGraw, both surrounded by women and sisters or female cousins, would turn out to be “sissies” (50). The author felt that he and his cousin were missing out on learning traditionally masculine skills, such as fishing, hunting, boxing, and car mechanics. Moehringer tried his best to teach himself and McGraw these skills, with humorous results. He notes that while he and his cousin lived in the same environment, they had opposite personalities, which he attributes to their different relationships with their mothers.

In Chapter 9, Moehringer explains how his mother moved them to a new apartment that she cherished, furnishing it with used chairs from the hospital where she worked. He recounts how, despite her best efforts to seem optimistic, his mother occasionally broke down in front of him due to their stressful situation, and both of them suffered from feelings of loneliness due to the absence of a husband and father.