The Impossible Knife of Memory

As the title suggests, the power of memory is a central theme of the novel. Andy is haunted by memories of the things he saw and did while at war. He desperately wants to forget these memories but cannot. They have taken control of his present life because it takes all his energy just to fight against them. He says, “the remembering takes up every breath until there is no room for today” (236). He drinks and uses drugs so he can try to black out the memories and emotional distress they cause. However, he also drinks because he hates the life he is living. He says, “I pour a drink, ten drinks, so I can forget that I have forgotten today” (236). Essentially, the harder he tries to forget, the more he loses control of his life, which hastens his spiral into a mental health crisis. The memories “play on a continuous loop” (236), and so does his behavior.

Hayley also wants to forget her past, and she was fairly successful at doing so while she and Andy were on the road. Hayley is better at blocking her memories than her dad, but they do start to resurface as the novel progresses.