Talking in Bed

The failure of love to deliver on its promises over time is a common theme in Larkin’s poetry. The couple the speaker of the poem has in mind in “Talking in Bed” have not just recently met; they are likely in the later stages of a relationship, not newlyweds. They are two people who have known each other for some time, perhaps a long time, and for whom the glow of early love has steadily worn off over time. They no longer enjoy the relaxed, intimate, honest conversation that lucky new lovers enjoy while in bed, each full of trust and confidence that whatever they say will be well received by the other.

Larkin has little to say about the more delightful aspects of love, except to chronicle the replacement of excitement with something else considerably less desirable. The later stages of a romantic relationship differ from the early stages that are driven by idealism and fantasy; it is likely that at some point in the couple’s relationship, one of them said something hurtful, and the resulting exchange may have been upsetting. The couple may have learned to feel reluctant to broach the subject again, knowing how upsetting it had been the first time.