Redefining realness: My path to womanhood, identity, love, & so much more

Janet Mock is the protagonist in and author of this memoir. She is born as Charles, but quickly realizes that this male identity does not suit her and creates alternate female personalities, such as Keisha, in order to combat the cognitive dissonance that arises from the difference between her body and her identity. She grows up in an unstable home, bouncing between living in Hawaii with her mother, whom she idolizes as a kind of ideal of womanhood, and in California and Texas with her father, whom she resents for trying to repress her girlhood.

She often feels isolated from her family, as she does not believe that they understand her; as she matures and interrogates her identity, the rift between herself and her family grows until she becomes completely independent of them at a very young age:“I grew resentful in adulthood about my parents’ lack of planning. I became so used to being alone and depending on myself that I didn’t know how to ask for help” (58). Although the instability of her familial structure allows Mock to become fiercely independent, it also does not allow her to lean on anyone for support.