48 pages 1 hour read

Nicholas Wolterstorff

Lament for a Son

Nonfiction | Autobiography / Memoir | Adult | Published in 1987

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Themes

Grief and Intentional Remembrance

Throughout the book, Wolterstorff emphasizes the importance of actively remembering his deceased son, Eric, as a means of honoring Eric’s life and grappling with the reality of his absence. This intentional act of remembrance becomes not just a personal coping mechanism, but a philosophical and theological stance on the nature of grief and human existence.

Wolterstorff’s approach to remembrance is physical and tangible. He makes the conscious decision to keep Eric’s possessions visible and present in his daily life: “We shall leave them out” (29). This active choice to surround himself with reminders of Eric serves multiple purposes. It keeps Eric’s memory alive in a very immediate sense, but it also forces Wolterstorff to continually confront and process his grief, rather than attempting to hide from it or move past it too quickly. The author acknowledges that these objects speak with a “forked tongue” (28), bringing both joy and sorrow. This duality reflects the complex nature of grief itself: Memories can be simultaneously comforting and painful. By choosing to live with these reminders, Wolterstorff embraces the fullness of his grief, refusing to shy away from its difficulties.