Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

Everyone struggles with vulnerability and thinking they are enough. Persona is the Greek word for ‘stage mask.’ Brown uses masks and armor as metaphors for how we protect ourselves from vulnerability. However, while masks make us feel safer, they actually make it harder to breathe. They are heavy, and we have to carry them around. They make it harder for us to connect. While our armor is unique to us and the experiences that forged it, there are a number of commonalities in the type of armor people build. There is also a common way out of the masks we wear: believing we are enough. Knowing that we are enough gives us permission to take off the mask.

There are three forms of shielding that people use: foreboding joy, perfectionism, and numbing. Joy is the most difficult emotion to feel because many of us are afraid to feel joy. When things are going well, we worry that that something bad will happen. We are waiting for the other shoe to drop. Expecting disappointment protects you from being hurt. The solution to foreboding joy is practicing gratitude. She recommends three steps: finding joy in ordinary moments, being grateful for what you have, and not squandering joy.