Breathe and Count Back from Ten

Breathe and Count Back from Ten is a realistic young adult novel written by Natalia Sylvester and originally published in 2022. Natalie’s family immigrated from Peru to Central Florida when she was a child, and she was fascinated by mermaids and the Weeki Wachee mermaid park near her home, which “provided the framework for this whole story” (Jones, Iyana. “Four Questions for Natalia Sylvester.” Publishers Weekly, 2022). The novel centers around Verónica Renteria, a 17-year-old girl who aspires to be a mermaid at a summer theme park, but her hip dysplasia and overprotective Peruvian parents present obstacles along the way. In the course of her journey, she discovers her Personal and Sexual Autonomy and develops her own concepts around the idea of Words and Their Meaning and Living with Disability. In 2023, Breathe and Count Back from Ten was named a Pura Belpré Award honor book and a Schneider Family Award honor book.

This guide refers to the 2022 HarperCollins New York first edition of the novel.

Content Warning: This guide describes and discusses the novel’s treatment of sexual assault.

Plot Summary

Verónica Rentería is 17 years old and swimming laps in the pool of her home at the Palmview Lakes apartment complex in Central Florida. Ever since a doctor recommended swimming for her hip dysplasia, Verónica swims every day; it is her passion and her dream to become a mermaid at the local Mermaid Cove attraction. When a moving truck appears and a boy her age and his mother step out, Verónica grows curious. When the boy, Alex, comes to the pool and sits down, Verónica, embarrassed by her surgery scars, gets out. The complex security guard asks Verónica to show Alex around, and she gives him a tour of the buildings, the tennis courts, and the beach. Alex seems genuine and considerate and sharply contrasts with Jeremy, a boy who assaulted her in a hot tub and made fun of her scars. Her parents found her after the assault and blamed her. Alex recently moved from Texas, and his mother is the new complex manager. Verónica worries if Alex’s mother will do anything about the missing wheelchair ramps and lack of flexibility with late rent. Verónica tells Alex all about the local mermaid culture and how much she loves it. When she was seven, she visited Mermaid Cove and was amazed by the majesty and freedom the mermaids seemed to possess. Verónica’s Papi found the mermaid culture silly and a waste of time, but the mermaids reminded Verónica of the legend of Huacachina, a Peruvian princess who became a mermaid. A few days later, Verónica hangs out with her best friend, Leslie, and tells her all about Alex. They await a phone call from Tanya, Leslie’s sister, who works as a mermaid at Mermaid Cove and has promised them access to a rehearsal. When they arrive at the park, they watch as the director, Barb, conducts the rehearsal and complains about the mermaids’ movements. Barb eventually notices the girls and tells them to leave. Tanya finds them later to tell Verónica that the park is holding auditions for a temporary summer mermaid position. Verónica is excited by the idea but worries what her parents will think.

Verónica was born with hip dysplasia and has always felt it defines her more than it should. She endured several surgeries throughout her childhood, so her parents treat her as if she is fragile, and her peers single her out. Verónica angers Papi when she raises the idea of becoming a mermaid because he thinks it’s a form of sex work. She feels as though her parents want her to be comfortable and secure, but not happy. Verónica and her younger sister, Dani, go to the pool to meet Leslie and Alex. Verónica explains her scars to Alex, and he thanks her for sharing that part of herself. They swim together and flirt, but when they are about to kiss, Papi interrupts them and demands that she get out and go to her doctor’s appointment. Verónica feels humiliated but cheers up when she hears that Tanya has agreed to help her prepare for the mermaid auditions. The appointment is a routine checkup, but Verónica finds out that the bone tissue in her left hip is deteriorating—something her parents already knew and kept from her. Feeling betrayed and confused, she doesn’t know what to expect and is shocked that the deterioration is happening much sooner than she expected. She needs an MRI to determine the next steps in treatment, which will likely be a hip replacement. At home, Verónica expresses her anger at having this secret kept from her, and her parents send her to her room and accuse her of wanting privacy and autonomy for the sole reason of having sex. That night, Verónica sneaks out and heads to the racquetball court, a place she goes to be alone. She looks at videos of mermaid performances and feels enveloped by the light of the moon. When Alex shows up, they go back to the pool and swim together. Alex tells Verónica that the calcium in their bones comes from stars that exploded in the distant past. The thought gives Verónica hope. 

Verónica decides to train with Tanya for the auditions. Dani’s and Leslie’s excitement and support give Verónica confidence. The pool is closed for maintenance, so they practice on land for a while. Dani then offers to ask her boyfriend, Jason, to use his pool. There, Verónica finds out that Jason is Jeremy’s stepbrother, the boy who assaulted Verónica at the hot tub. Verónica feels instantly uncomfortable and leaves. On the way back, she tells Alex what happened to her, and Alex tells Verónica about how his parents always used to fight and eventually divorced. On the morning of the tryouts, Dani presents Verónica with a homemade top. At Mermaid Cove, Verónica, nervous at first, is shocked by how cold and powerful the water is. She succeeds in doing her laps although she gasps for air at the end. When she performs maneuvers, she is singled out as perfect and asked to demonstrate. Verónica shines at being a mermaid and is given the position above dozens of others. She isn’t sure if she can enjoy the victory because she doesn’t know whether she will need surgery in the next few weeks.  

Verónica tries to figure out how to lie to her parents just enough to be able to take the job, but Dani discourages her, knowing it is always better to be honest. Verónica decides to tell her parents that she got a job in administration so she can avoid telling a full lie. When she goes to tell Alex the good news, she finds him sorting through endless boxes in storage and appearing frustrated. Alex congratulates Verónica but not to the degree she was hoping for. When she notices a stack of self-help books, he explains that he has depression that is being managed with therapy and medication, though his parents initially tried to dismiss by just handing him books. Afterward, Verónica convincingly lies to her parents about the job at Mermaid Cove; she tells herself the lie is only to protect them.

During Verónica’s first day at her new job, she meets Val, Geoff, and Hallie, and they all practice routines for an upcoming show. Verónica learns that Barb allows undercurrents of racism and sexism at the park. When Verónica hears about an opportunity to choreograph her own showcase, she is eager to participate. She stays late that day to practice breathing through an air hose. She navigates the underwater tube and tank and finds it strange that she is asked to hide her air hose from the imaginary audience as much as possible. Over the next week, she learns choreography, makeup, guest interaction, and more. Much of the practicing is done on land as Verónica and the rest of the crew prepare for an upcoming 25-minute show. Verónica is invited to a party at the end of the week, and there she is given the nickname Sea Star. The next morning, Leslie mentions Alex a little too loudly, and Verónica’s Mami questions her soon after. Mami braids Verónica’s hair and tells the story of Huacachina, who created a pool of her own tears of grief for a lost love. Mami notices how light and dry Verónica’s hair is and may suspect Verónica is swimming at the cove. The next rehearsal goes perfectly, and in the sauna afterward, Verónica asks the others what got them into mermaiding. Everyone has a unique reason for loving mermaids. Hallie pressures Verónica to explain her scars. Verónica does so, but then she leaves, no longer feeling comfortable. She invites Geoff to be in her showcase, and he agrees. 

Verónica presents her concept of a Huacachina story to Barb, who accepts the idea. She has 10 days to choreograph, write, and practice it with Geoff. The next time Verónica goes to see Alex, she visits his apartment for the first time. Alex shows Verónica his room, which is filled with maps of all kinds, including some he has turned into collages and portraits. He shows Verónica how Florida and Peru are the same shape but flipped, and the moment becomes romantic as the two lie down and explore each other’s bodies. Afterward, Verónica finds Dani with her boyfriend in a hammock and scolds her for not taking stronger precautions to hide what she’s doing. An argument results in which Dani accuses Verónica of stealing all their parents’ attention, and Verónica feels as though she is always misunderstood. The following Monday, Verónica receives her mermaid tail, which is purple, pink, and green. She rehearses with it, but her parents soon interrupt. They demand that she come out of the water and accuse her of being reckless in terms of injury, possible hospital bills, and their immigration status. They tell Verónica she must quit immediately and that her MRI has been scheduled for Wednesday, the same day as her show. That night, Dani shows Verónica a photograph from Mermaid Cove’s social media; Verónica’s scars have been digitally removed. Offended, Verónica feels as if the picture isn’t of her. Verónica is told to stay home the next day, but she visits with both Leslie and Alex, telling each of them about the necrosis in her hip. That night, she considers her options. She feels disconnected from the cove after seeing the photograph. She decides to perform her show against her parents’ wishes and shows up at the cove the next day. After the standard performance, Verónica and Geoff perform a version of the Huacachina legend. Her parents come to watch the show and are unsure how to react afterward. Verónica, feeling confident, introduces her parents to Alex, then heads to her MRI, where she is told that she can decide when to have surgery. Verónica is shocked that she can make her own decision about her body for once. On the way home, Verónica makes it clear to her parents that they need to trust her to make her own decisions. She heads to the pool to meet her friends and realizes she is happy exactly where she is; she does not need the approval of Mermaid Cove to be a mermaid.